Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
