He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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