i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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