never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
