Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
