Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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