he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
