After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
