You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
