Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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