Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
