ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
