Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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