she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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