GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
