All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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