A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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