Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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