This is not my ceiling
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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