isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
