Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
