I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
