i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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