Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
