A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
