I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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