Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
