you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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