I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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