Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
