So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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