toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
