What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
