She said her name was "party"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
