His pubic hair was longer than his dick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
