I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Terrible idea I love it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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