I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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