two words: eviction party
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
