he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
