I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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