help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
