why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
