covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
