Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
