uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
