I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
