would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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