doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
