it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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