Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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