Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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